Why I Never Ask You to “Look at the Camera” During Vows

During vows is the most sacred, vulnerable, and emotionally raw part of the entire wedding day. It’s the moment when two people stand in front of everyone they love — and often in front of strangers like me — and speak promises that will shape the rest of their lives.

And yet, so many photographers interrupt this sacred silence with the same phrase: “Look at the camera.” “Smile.” “Turn this way a little.”

I never do that. Not once. Not during vows. Here’s why — and why you should never want me to.

1. Vows Are Not a Performance — They Are a Promise

When you say your vows, you are not speaking to the camera. You are speaking to the person standing in front of you — the one who chose you, the one you chose, the one who is about to become your spouse.

Asking you to “look at the camera” at that moment breaks the spell. It pulls your attention away from the most important person in the room and redirects it to a lens. Suddenly, instead of being fully present with your partner, you’re thinking about your expression, your angle, your smile.

That shift changes everything:

Eyes lose their depth
Voice becomes slightly less steady
Hands tense
The moment stops being intimate and starts being staged

I want the real promise — not a posed version of it.

2. The Real Emotion Lives in the Gaze Between You

The most powerful photographs during vows are not of one person looking at the camera. They are of:

The way you look at each other — completely absorbed
The slight tremble in your lip when your voice cracks
The tear that escapes when you hear “I will love you forever”
The way your fingers instinctively tighten around theirs
The quiet breath you take together after the last word

These are not things you can fake. They are not things you can pose for. They only happen when your focus is on the person in front of you — not on a photographer 10 meters away.

When I ask you to “look at the camera,” I steal that gaze from your partner. I steal the intimacy. I steal the truth.

3. I Capture Vows from the Side, from Behind, from Far Away

I never stand in front of you during vows. I position myself:

To the side — to catch both faces and the connection between them
Behind — to shoot over your shoulder, capturing the way your partner reacts to your words
Far back with a long lens — so I’m invisible, so you forget I’m there
Low angle — to show the full scene: you, your partner, the officiant, the guests’ faces

This way, the photographs show the moment — not a staged portrait.

4. Guests’ Reactions Are Part of the Vows Too

When you speak your promises, the people who love you are listening. Their faces tell the second half of the story:

Your mom covering her mouth
Your dad blinking hard
Your best friend silently crying
Your grandparents holding hands tighter

I shoot those reactions too — quietly, from the side or back. Because your vows don’t exist in a vacuum. They land in the hearts of everyone present.

Asking you to “look at the camera” would cut that connection off from the people who matter most.

5. The Real Power Lives in the Gaze You Share — Not in the Lens

Years from now, when you open the album, you won’t be looking for how perfectly your profile was lit. You’ll be looking for how he looked at you when you said “I will choose you every day.” You’ll be looking for how you looked at her when she said “I will stand by you no matter what.”

Those gazes — the ones that exist only between the two of you — are what make the photos timeless. If I interrupt them to “get the shot,” I lose the very thing that matters most.

Vows are not a photo opportunity. They are a promise. A sacred, private, once-in-a-lifetime exchange.

My job is not to make that moment look good for the camera. My job is to protect it — to let it unfold exactly as it wants to, without pulling your attention away from the person who matters most.

That’s why I never say “look at the camera” during vows. Because in that moment, the only gaze that matters is the one you share with each other.

If you want a photographer who respects the sacredness of your vows — who lets them be real, raw, and uninterrupted — I’d be honored to be that person for you. Write to me. We’ll make sure your promises are captured exactly as they were spoken — full of love, full of truth, full of forever.

Why I Never Ask You to “Look at the Camera” During Vows